a Christmas seastory from my shipmate mad max

here's a taste:

One of the best Christmas dinners i ever ate was 600 feet underwater, somewhere very cold . . .It was in the Pacific, I can't be specific - the mission was too classified:

On Christmas Eve, Jim sat in the crew's mess, waiting for the mess attendants, called cranks, to bring the evening's meal of pea soup, knackwurst, boiled potatoes and cranberry sauce when Santa popped up through the battery well hatch in the deck next to hm. Jim glared at the corpseman, Doc, across the table.

Rising from the hatch, Santa's voice was like a chainsaw, as he shouted "Merry Christmas you ******* *************!!!"

Santa was quite the sight! At six feet three inches, and two hundred sixtyfive pounds, he was dressed in filthy, oil stained red and white velour, and sported a ten year old K-mart beard that couldn't quite conceal his own red greasy stubble, nor the fact that he was really Tex, the torpedoman.

"Ho Ho Ho! I got some stuff for you *************" Santa bellowed as he threw packages across the crew's mess.

go read the whole post here