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Day By Day© by Chris Muir.


Thursday, September 28, 2006

The Top 100 Things I'd Do If I Ever Became An Evil Overlord

another e-mail crossed my screen, this time with what i consider one of the best lists of what i would do given specific situations. in this case, what i would do if i was an evil overlord. that's right, mean, vicious, dangerous and all powerful. a sith lord to rule over the masses. and this list would be my starting point to insure a successful and long tenure as the ruler of the galaxy.
since the list is so long, i squirrelled it away over on the geezerpix blog listed at the end of this entry.
here's a taste:

7. When I've captured my adversary and he says, "Look, before you kill me, will you at least tell me what this is all about?" I'll say, "No." and shoot him. No, on second thought I'll shoot him then say "No."

15. I will never employ any device with a digital countdown. If I find that such a device is absolutely unavoidable, I will set it to activate when the counter reaches 117 and the hero is just putting his plan into operation.

26. No matter how attractive certain members of the rebellion are, there is probably someone just as attractive who is not desperate to kill me. Therefore, I will think twice before ordering a prisoner sent to my bedchamber.

45. I will make sure I have a clear understanding of who is responsible for what in my organization. For example, if my general screws up I will not draw my weapon, point it at him, say "And here is the price for failure," then suddenly turn and kill some random underling.

56. My Legions of Terror will be trained in basic marksmanship. Any who cannot learn to hit a man-sized target at 10 meters will be used for target practice.

85. I will not use any plan in which the final step is horribly complicated, e.g. "Align the 12 Stones of Power on the sacred altar then activate the medallion at the moment of total eclipse." Instead it will be more along the lines of "Push the button."

and of course

98. If an attractive young couple enters my realm, I will carefully monitor their activities. If I find they are happy and affectionate, I will ignore them. However if circumstance have forced them together against their will and they spend all their time bickering and criticizing each other except during the intermittent occasions when they are saving each others' lives at which point there are hints of sexual tension, I will immediately order their execution.

i laughed and then pondered. yeah, this is a good list. check out the entire entry, and think about it. haven't you thought exactly the same things while watching action movies? like... "what the hell was he thinking? of course the hero is going to try some sort of misdirection hoping he can get out of the trap." James Bond villians would probably survive a lot better if they impliment this list forthwith

the whole list can be found here


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