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Day By Day© by Chris Muir.


Tuesday, January 17, 2006

still have your hacker card?

i don't know if the surface navy had them, but submariners used to brag about getting their hackers card punched. what's a hacker card? if you sat through a butt stupid, or just plain horrible movie, you got a hacker card punch. i know that the newer boats (hell probably all of the boats, what am i saying?) now have digital media movies,either DVDs or VHS tapes. and they watch movies on a television in crews mess. as the old geezers used to say, "back in my day" we watched 35mm films shown on a projector against a pull down screen. that meant the safety tank was full of big assed boxes of movies needed to make it through the run. going to the motion picture exchange was fraught with hazard. if you brought back gaggers, you were going to catch crap for 3 months, non-stop. if you didn't plan your run to the MPX well, and got there behind the enterprise or some of the other skimmers that loaded out for west-pacs, you were relegated to bringing back the worst of the worst. these were what earned hacker card punches. there were several movies that were so bad that we actually abandoned the movie before the end of the third reel. i actually only left 2 movies during my time on the seawolf.
i thought about this post because harry the hop emailed me after my 10 guy flix post. here's the text:
To: bothenook@yahoo.com
Subject: Movies
Date: Mon, 16 Jan 2006 18:20:34 -0500


click on the above link. wasn't this the worst movie ever shown on the Seawolf. I know we had it for the '76 run. I was the night messcook and it was the only time that the person showing the movie was the last one in the crew's mess and they shut it down and hit the rack.


harry, there were two more from that time that we all left, and the projector operator pulled the reel and rewound it without watching:

dirty little billy with Micheal J. Pollard, and the last movie, a horrible piece of art trash dennis hopper scammed a studio to pay for.

there were more, but these two were burned into my brain. i've sat through some of the absolute worst examples of junk ever put to celluloid, but these two stand out.

one movie we had on board (remember, i was on submarines from 74 to 81, so i got (?) to see some really bad flix) was so horrible that you couldn't leave. anyone remember the movie 100 Rifles ? that was an oater with raquel welch, jim brown, and burt reynolds. we would watch it just to try to establish a body count. by the third time we saw that movie, we were counting out loud each time someone was killed. as a gun enthusiast, i've spent the last 30 years scouring the earth for a colt like brown carried. i know he had to have at least a 100 shot revolver, because he shot almost an entire army without a single reload.

so, how about you guys? any memorably horrible hacker card flicks in your past?


Blogger trr said...

Didn't watch many flicks on board since all the smokers did their thing in the crew's lounge and I don't like ciggy smoke. I think we showed Roadhouse with Patrick Swayze a bunch of times though it probably doesn't qualify as a "hacker". I also saw most of (couldn't watch the whole thing) Clan of the Cave Bear. It stunk.

PS VHS is not digital media. That's what we had back in the late 80s/early 90s.

1/17/06, 4:00 PM  
Anonymous Mac DeSub said...

in the early 70's on the 664 we had a 1IC philippino who made the movie runs because no one else would. He had been a stewart before and crossed over when allowed.
He didn't seem to speak english well, and he sure got a lot of complaints about his movie selections.
When we were getting ready for a specop, he selected all the movies, all gaggers! They were mostly kungfu movies that no one had seen before or since.
Besides the usual lip synch issues, these guys would be wearing mafia style black suits with black shirts, then sandals or barefeet as they ran through Nippa hut dirt lanes!
After that no one, I mean no one complained again!

1/17/06, 4:03 PM  
Blogger Va Beach Herb said...


As an ICmen I had to make several of the movie runs prior to our SSBN patrols. I did pretty well but when you have to pick out about 80 movies you had to have some hackers in there.
When a movie was particularly bad, an old trick was to tell the guys watching that there was a "tit-shot" in the third reel. Sometimes even that wasn't enough to get people to sit through them. It was considered a badge of honor to sit all the way through a hacker until the end, and it gave you rights to give the "non-hackers" who left major grief afterwards.

1/18/06, 7:35 AM  

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