common tools and their uses

i received this in the email today, and laughed my keister off, again. i saw this, or something very similar that made the rounds when i was a nooklear machinest mate on that much awarded submersible affectionately known as the PierWolf (SSN-575) back in the 70's. i traced the article back to the source, and post it here for all you knuckle draggers, handymen, gear heads, and in general anyone that actually knows which way to spin the knurled operator on a crescent hammer to open the jaws... without looking and without screwing up and having to reverse spin.
here's the link: Today's Facility Manger.

i won't post the whole thing, but i have to share a couple of items, just to whet your curiosity. you subariners will recognize the tools i've chosen to present:

• ELECTRIC HAND DRILL: Normally used for spinning pop rivets in their holes until you die of old age.
• HACKSAW: One of a family of cutting tools built on the Ouija board principle. It transforms human energy into a crooked, unpredictable motion, and the more you attempt to influence its course, the more dismal your future becomes.
• @#%&*-IT TOOL: Any handy tool that you grab and throw across the garage while yelling ‘@#%&*-IT’ at the top of your lungs. It is also, most often, the next tool that you will need.