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Day By Day© by Chris Muir.

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Thursday, August 10, 2006

recycling seastories: the Beaker

i answered a post over at knowledge is power, and it got me thinking about a couple of "no-shitters" i'd posted over the years at ron martini's submariner bulletin board. those ended up being posted in a collection called the golden rivet. this is a pretty good place to find and read submariner NTINS stories that we posted over a couple of years. anyway, i the interest of posting without having to actually do a lot of typing, i'm going to go and steal a couple of my entries back and post them here.

the first installment: The Beaker


This is a no shitter.... there once was a young electrician on the Seawolf that did everything he could to perpetuate a legend, about himself of course. I have another story about field day that I'll post one of these days. anyway... young bob was finally getting out of the navy, after a couple of years on the boat. by this time, anything that he did was relatively unsurprising, since he would do anything that he thought might, just might, tweak somebody. I was the shutdown rover, and as an elt, i had access to all of the lab equipment. young bob asked me for a 500 ml beaker, and i thought it was to mix chemicals for the dissolved oxygen analyzer (what a piece of technological junk that was). As it so happens, we had the same eng. duty officer that duty day that had accidentally kicked over a piss call coke can in maneuvering the duty day before. as expected, this caused him to prohibit any and all use of same. his orders to our section were to wake up a piss call relief (remember pcr's?) regardless of the time or how tired your shippy might be. Well, our young ltjg was late for his midnight tour, as usual. about 2 hours late. he finally stumble aft and reviews my logs on his way to maneuvering. he enters maneuvering to see the shutdown man. area watch kicked back with his feet up on the reactor control panel, legs spread wide, and this glass beaker between his legs, full of a yellow liquid and a nice foamy head. the jg goes ballistic, and tells young R____ to get rid of the contents, which prompted a hearty aye, aye, and a few rapid, deep swallows. I, of course, didn't know what was going on in maneuvering at the time. all i saw was the edo heading forward, hand over his mouth, with a chunky liquid squirting from between his fingers. last i saw of him that duty day. As you can imagine, this made our sailor an instant hero. of course we were all grossed out by the obviously bizarre act, but still, he did nuke the edo. it wasn't until a couple of months later, when he came out to the bay area to visit that he passed on at a party what had really happened. see, he thought that it would be a reallllly neat idea to crack a cold one, and have a swig on his last midwatch in the navy. of course, the can would be inappropriate, hence the beaker. ahh, midwatch stories. gotta love them.

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